Breaking Barriers: Strategies for women leaders to silence self doubt and amplify confidence

You’re sitting at the head of the table, about to lead a crucial meeting. As you glance around the room, doubts creep in. ‘Can I handle this? Do I deserve to be here?’ Sounds familiar?

I can recall numerous episodes in my career where I have felt that I would be ‘found out’, with that sinking feeling of, ‘oh **** how did I get here’. My first experience was in my NHS days sitting round a table with government officials, esteemed academics, advisors, experts …and me.  In creeps the, ‘they will discover that I don’t know much, they are much smarter than I am, they will find out that I am not as good as they think I am…”

If you’ve ever experienced moments like these, you’re not alone. Navigating self-doubt and confidence challenges is a journey familiar to many women leaders. Drawing from my own experiences and insights gained from coaching fellow women leaders, sharing some strategies to confront and overcome these obstacles, reclaiming confidence in our roles.

Self-doubt and confidence challenges can manifest in various ways, from questioning one’s abilities to feeling undeserving of success. These feelings are often exacerbated by societal expectations and the pressure to prove. Recognising and acknowledging these challenges is the first step towards overcoming them and reclaiming confidence.

Tune into your feelings and emotions

Cultivate awareness, acknowledging thoughts and emotions as they arise without attaching value judgments or criticism to them. Train yourself to adopt a curious and compassionate attitude towards your own mental processes, allowing them to flow without labeling them as inherently good or bad.

Challenge your thoughts

Once identified, challenge negative thoughts by questioning their validity. For example, ask yourself:

o   Is this thought based on facts or assumptions?

o   What evidence do I have to support or refute this thought?

o   Would I say this to a friend in a similar situation?

By dissecting negative thoughts, you can begin to dismantle their power and weaken its hold on your confidence.

Reframe your inner dialogue

Replace negative self-talk with affirmations of your abilities and worth. For instance, when doubts arise before a big presentation, remind yourself of past successes and affirm your capability to excel. Reframing thoughts of inadequacy with reminders of past successes can bolster confidence and self-belief. Validate, appreciate and continually reaffirm your  achievements, accomplishments and successes.

Build and lean into a supportive network

Surround yourself with a supportive network of mentors, allies, colleagues and friends. Sharing your challenges and triumphs with others not only provides perspective and encouragement but also validates your experiences, helping to counteract negative self-talk. As mentioned previously, it takes a community to build a strong woman leader.

Set realistic expectations

Perfectionism often contributes to self-doubt and undermines confidence. Practice setting realistic expectations and embracing a growth mindset. Celebrate progress rather than perfection and recognise that setbacks are opportunities for learning and growth.

Embrace authenticity

Authenticity is key to building confidence and resilience as a leader. Embrace your unique strengths, experiences and perspectives, and let them shine in your leadership journey. By showing up authentically, you inspire others to do the same, fostering a culture of confidence and resilience.

Self-doubt is a common companion on the leadership journey, but it need not hinder your progress. By implementing these strategies, you can reclaim your confidence and continue making a positive impact.

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