馃 Ever been in a situation in which you did not perform as well as you could, leaving your confidence at a low and a reluctance to put yourself in such situations again? I have!
The beliefs that we form when such events take place are usually not based on any evidence. They are assumptions that we make about ourselves. These beliefs infiltrate our thoughts, attitudes, behaviours and ultimately affect our performance.
They hinder growth, closing doors to new opportunities and can have an adverse effect on moving forward.
One of my clients, Sally, forgot some key messages, became nervous, lost her confidence and composure whilst presenting at her interview for a Director鈥檚 role. When another position 聽arose, Sally had convinced herself that she will mess up again, is not good enough and so plays it safe by not putting herself forward.
By working with Sally 聽to challenge her assumptions and limiting beliefs, she was able to reshape patterns of thinking and the emotional connections to these thoughts.
This shift in mindset and emotional framing of reality, helped Sally to move forward, enabling new learning, thinking and behaviour to be embedded.
2 techniques to try when limiting beliefs hold you back
Albert Ellis, developed a way to teach people how their beliefs cause their emotional and behavioural responses. In Sally鈥檚 case, it鈥檚 not giving a presentation that causes these feelings, it is the beliefs that she has associated with them.
1. The ABCDE technique
路聽聽A (activating event): I messed up in the job interview
路聽聽B (belief): I am failure, not good enough to be promoted, worthless
路聽聽C (consequence): Devastated, others will think I鈥檓 a failure, am unworthy
路聽聽Dispute beliefs:聽Is this true? What is the evidence? There is no evidence to show that by not getting promoted, Sally is an unworthy person or a failure. She has had many successes and accomplishments and is highly regarded by her colleagues.
路聽聽Effect : Realises belief is irrational and is keeping her stuck. To get better at interviewing she enlists the help of colleagues and friends and engages in role playing interview scenarios to build her skills and confidence
2. Visualisation
路聽Envision a future interview
路聽Identify concerns and brainstorm solutions.
路聽Discuss with trusted peers for additional insights/ support/ ideas
路聽Make a list of the top problems and the strategies for overcoming
路聽Visualise yourself coping with each problem by using the accompanying strategy
路聽Picture yourself dealing with the problems as they arise. Keep the imagery, vivid and detailed and check in on how you are feeling
路聽Keep practising until it feels that what you are doing and how you are behaving comes naturally
How have you overcome limiting beliefs?
Stuck? I’m here to help you reshape thinking patterns, overcome hurdles and move forward. Get in touch聽
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